The Baby Clothes Scam

A few folks I’ve known here and there have announced that they’re going to be dads, and myself still being relatively new at the prospect, they ask me for advice. One guy at work here asked me and another more veteran dad for any useful tidbits, and we both went down the list: don’t overspend on nursery furniture because they’ll outgrow it, have a vast supply of cloth diapers handy, etc. And of course on clothes, don’t bother to buy the 1-3 month old stuff because they’ll outgrow it so fast.

Another friend online announced the same thing, and got the same advice. In regards to clothing, I had several other dads pop up to say the same thing. One said his kid was too big for 1-3 months two weeks after birth. Zoe, who is by all accounts rather small, was out of them by the first month. 95% of parents could buy one pack of onesies from WalMart and that should cover it for the kid. So why bother selling them beyond that at all? Surely this is common enough information that all the parents out there in the developed world know not to waste their money?

It’s a scam, of course. But it’s not aimed at parents: it’s aimed at other relatives. It’s aimed at all those new grandparents that can’t resist getting clothes for their inbound adorable-but-stinky little pookie. Aimed at the aunts and whatnot that intend to dote on that disgusting little bundle of joy that will soon come rocketing out of that birth canal at three times the speed of sound, except louder (usually in the middle of the night) than the expected sonic booms therefrom.

It’s brilliant. Wish I’d thought of it.