Verizon: Hi! This is Verizon calling. We were looking at your account and we see that you’re still on that unlimited data plan and wanted to offer you a lukewarm chance to upgrade your phones so we can get you under control.
Me: Hi! No.
Verizon: Are you sure? We can get you a discount!
Me: These phones are only a year old, and I paid full price for them at the time. If you think I’m ready to cave in and suffer data caps again, you’re high, Skippy.
Verizon: Oh. Well, call us when you’re ready!
Me: No.