Every house is gonna have a few issues, and that’s fine. Some are actual problems, and some are just quirky. We’ve discovered one that’s not in the least a problem, but that is definitely incredibly weird. We’re talking like Olympic-grade oddness here.

We seem to have a phantom smell.

Every single time I come out of the master bathroom I get a distinct savory smell, not unlike a steak cooking in a pan. This only happens when I’m out of the bathroom, definitely on the bedroom side. And the smell only happens right by the door. Move to the other side of the door where there’s a window, nothing. A foor or two past the door, nothing. Along the floor, nothing. Standing on a stepladder to see if the smell is somehow hovering above the door, nothing. Down in the basement directly underneath this and with a clear view of the underlying floor, nothing. All hours of the day and night. 

And it’s not in the least a bad smell. In fact we find it rather pleasant. It also changes slightly… my first impression of it was of hamburgers being pan-fried or a steak. Erin sometimes gets it as Chinese food. I swear that last night I also got a hint of garlic with it (not joking in the least). Always savory, always food. 

Harmless as it seems to be, it’s still somewhat maddening not being able to figure it out. I imagine if there was a dead mouse in the wall or something it wouldn’t smell so pleasant. It’s not drifting from the kitchen, because if you go slightly closer to the kitchen you don’t smell it. It could be that by some very odd flow of air currents the ventilated odors of some distant restaurant manage to drift exclusively to just in front of the bathroom door. Not likely. 

The most reasonable explanation we’ve come up with so far, of those that haven’t yet been ruled out, is that we’re haunted by some sort of ghost-chef.