At the office they gave us big coffee grinders in the hope that better coffee would mean better morale. All you have to do is put the basket for coffee grounds under it and push a button. It’s supposed to be the perfect amount.

Of course, coming from a very heavy-duty coffee family (and not being the only with such stringent caffiene demands in the office), the trend is to push the button once, then quickly use the stop-start buttons to add a few extra tablespoons. Which turns out nicely, I feel.

A sign appeared on the grinder today. “ONE GRIND PER POT BY ORDER OF THE MANAGEMENT.”

Well now here’s a stupid sentiment. Whose management? I know it wasn’t mine, because I’d have heard it directly from at least two of them by now, the micromanaging assholes. If it came from above my management there’d have been an even greater freakout and probably a company-wide email. No. This likely came from one of the other teams with whom we share the floor, being petty little dickheads. I bet it’s the security team.

But at any rate, the process of elemination has scored a logical victory today. Since my management didn’t order such, nor did the executives, I am therefore exempt from this pathetic command. I shall continue to make the coffee (since I get to it more often than most others), and the issue is therefore resolved.

Let’s celebrate with some good strong coffee!