DragonCon Tales

Another year has slipped from between our fingers and down the disgusting, half-clogged drain of time. DragonCon has come to a close yet again. As with every year, the leftovers include a few trinkets purchased at extortionate prices in the Dealers Rooms, a stack of photographs that I’m frankly too lazy to e-develop right now, and memories of those curious random encounters. And as always I’m eager to get the latter recorded in text, lest it be tainted or purged by the passage of time. 

Monday morning, on the way out. I pause for a moment in our elevator bank to take a cell phone picture of a six pack of beer with a note saying “FREE – PLEASE DRINK!”. The elevator had already opened for me so I had to rush through, only to find I was not alone. A figure was seated with his back against the glass, with a floppy grey wizard had shielding his face from me. “I am a random encounter”, he said, slurring heavily. “I am the wizard of the Elevator. I’m also drunk as shit.”

Being in the rush to get the car loaded with our stuff I wasn’t really in the mood, but he continued before I could emit sufficient hate rays to silence him. “I will now attempt to discern your gender by gazing at you,” he said, raising his head.

But before he could say anything else I whipped out a line I’d been dropping all weekend long to go with the Pokemon party theme. “Are you a boy, or a girl?” The near-universally recognized line had him cracking up instantly, buying the elevator enough time to reach my destination and disgorge me. “Take it easy, Elevator Wizard,” I said as I stepped back into the real world.