My company has run it’s own 1-800 number conference bridge for at least three years now. You can have your own custom code and use it for meetings and all, which can be helpful. By default nobody can hop onto the call and hear one another unless the owner of the conference code pops in and enters their moderator pin and all. While waiting on that, you get to hear a lovely music.

Once upon a time said music was a classical piece (I never did identify it but I’ve heard it sporadically in other places). I got sick of it frankly, because it was the same piece over and over with no variation. I now miss it terribly, though. Six months or so ago they replaced it with that sort of weird upbeat jazz you’d expect to hear in a waiting room or something.

The forced, painful amount of cheerfulness as I just sat on hold shortly ago gave me the impression that it was hopeful to be inspiring me prior to the call, like it figured its freakish too-bright melody may be inspiring me towards new heights of productivity once the conference call begins properly. Given my office’s nature as a secret psychological experiment, it’s entirely probably that the choice was deliberate.

It’s so hilariously naive. I wish I had a camera.