The Persistence of Minivans

My sister drives a PT Cruiser. Emblazoned in the middle of the back of it is a big sticker for my nephew’s martial arts dojo.

On the way to work this morning, I saw another PT Cruiser similarly labelled with several such stickers proclaiming their child a member of some baseball team, and an honour student for some school, etc. Shortly thereafter I saw a full-bore Soccermom Minivan. The flat space on the back of it held a wealth of proclamations about the activities of the children aboard. A quick search of my memory revealed that both my grandparents and my aunt and uncle’s van each have their own displays on the back.

In comparison, a sedan I got stuck behind had no space for such things, and only barely managed to fit in a small “Baby On Board” style sticker. Another shortly after wouldn’t have had room for even that.

And here we come to my epiphany, which is that minivans and their ilk are certainly frequently purchased for the passenger and cargo space they offer, but also, perhaps subconsciously, for the amount of billboard space they offer on the back for people to brag about children or causes. How often do you see a minivan or a PT cruiser without some sort of decoration on the back? Or an SUV which usually not only offers such an excellent steel canvas but raises ones’ causes so high above the proles below? No wonder they’re getting more and more popular.

Amidst all this I realize that my Rabbit has a bit of a similar flat open space on the hatch, yet it is externally nearly undecorated (aside from a discrete license plate frame proclaiming me an alumni of a fictional university). I wonder if this is why people like to try to cut in front of me in lines at turn lanes? Subconsciously they see that I haven’t declared my love for <cause> and am therefore a target. Hrm.